Talent? |10:12 PM|
According to my girlfriend, I have a decent understanding of composition of images now. She was impressed at my analysis of this photo: (Click for larger) Notice, starting from the left, that the motion of the woman's hands carry your eye to the arm, which leads you to the next person on the couch, whose arms are parralel, pointing up to his face. The second line on him also includes his leg/knee which points you up to the woman on the right's odd sitting position. Her arms form a partial loop, which lead you up to her eyes, which are looking the same way as the woman on the left. A full loop.
Moments from the Star Wars Line |10:17 PM|
Here's just a quick post of a movie that was made while we were standing around Gateway cinemas. This was while we were projecting our movies onto the side of the theater in which we would later go watch Star Wars III. The video is me making fun of the "Jackass" style, in night vision. It involves someone using a bullwhip on me. They have a high enough skill level to spin my ass right around, and FAST.
Stupid stuff that doesn't qualify for indvidual entries |6:37 PM|
I figured out a "Google Trick". You can specify to search results from just one site on Google by using site:www.IamWebsite.com. If you go to the image search feature on Google, and use the site: command, and nothing else, you get every image on that site that Google has ever seen. It's handy, trust me. Try it. As a side note, that brings images that even I, the owner of the site have/had totally forgotten.
This past weekend I was out filming scenes for the upcoming short movie "Inspirational". If you'd like to see a gallery of images that lack context, feel free to take a gander. On Bamboozeling: Saturday night, I was coming back from filming when I found myself desperately craving root beer. It was past 2AM, so the only places open to me used bulletproof glass in place of customer service. I pulled up to the local Tetco, which I know is open 24 hours AND after midnight locks the doors BUT will sell you food products through the night payment drawer. The woman working was about 40, saw me, and ducked into the employee only area. After a few minutes, she walked out into the main part of the store and walked towards the counter. She looked in every direction except towards the side of the building with the customer service window, through which I was plainly visible. It was some impressive head movement, considering the size of the window. When she entered the counter area (had there not been plexiglass in the way, I could have tapped her on the shoulder) she made a show of checking her watch, fiddling under the counter, and going back to the storage area. I was perplexed at her apparent desperation not to sell me my rootbeer. 5 minutes passed. 5 minutes is quite a while to be doing nothing while waiting in a line consisting of you, and possibly an army of angry, invisible spirits. I recalled a scene in a Tom Wolfe novel, in which a character scares the inhabitants of a crackhouse by doing nothing beyond talking into a cell phone determinedly while looking at the house. They were convinced he was a cop, and fled. I also realized I was on video surveillance, and the lazy bitch was likely watching a monitor. Clearly, this woman was trying to wait me out, but I used to work in tech support.
Uncomfortable silences and hour-long hold times are drinking buddies of mine. But, I was thirsty and was not being paid by the hour. I pulled out my cell phone, made a show of staring at the Tetco sign (as if it contained whole volumes of text beyond "Tetco") and began dialing (information, if you're curious). After a few seconds, the woman burst from the back room with a look of terror on her face, at which point I hung up, and she sold me my goddamn rootbeer. I would not have been so convinced she was reacting to my cell phone charade if not for the fear in her eyes. But who the hell did she think I was going to call at 3am? Her boss? The gas station police? Rootbeer man?
Replacement Items |11:27 AM| This is something I was working on in August, but haven't finished.
Things I would replace in and around my life.
My car: My corolla has seen some rough times, and I admit I have a certain attachment to it. But given a chance to swap it for just about anything newer. Especially a snazzy new Celica. I'd probably still want to add teeth, but no funny lights.
Given a chance, I'd probably stick some guns on it, spike the front wheels, turbo and install night vision windshield.
My current videocard leaves something to be desired. While that's not an accurate image of my current card, with the functionality I'm asking for from its outdated chipset, it might as well be.
I'm thinking about replacing it with this.
The BFG 6800 overclocked extreme turbo gold edition. Water cooling is optional. Requiring a 480 watt power supply, 2 of your HD power leads, an AGP slot and a PCI slot, this card is more powerful than your damn CPU.
About the only thing that could be better than this card would probably include a human brain.
A few other things I would replace will follow. Pinky Fellow Employees Domicile Weapon Toaster
Bleeeeh! |11:24 PM|
Since I apparently suck at updating, especially when there's not much to say, here's a video of Art-History-Elisabeth and PortalStar practicing their vampire "Bleeehs!" in case we need to crash a vampire meetup soon. Try to ignore my oddly obnoxious laughter.
Video is here It's quicktime, and only 1.8 megs last I checked.
Yes, yes |9:22 AM|
I've been a terrible blogger. Anyhow, as a quick insertion of post, I can show the failed images from my photo journal. The basic idea of a photo journal is that you carry a camera, and take pictures every hour to show what you did with your day. Since the day of the planned photojournal occurred during a work day, most of my images would have been, well,boring as shit.
I've included a couple here as well as some random images to amuse you, the reader.
The construction outside the offices is impressive, in that megalithic way.
This doofus had covered his car in idiotic stickers. He had a bumper sticker for "NOS", some car part manufacturers, a giant spoiler, and of course a type "R" sticker near the front wheel. He may have been joking, but notice he has bought and installed red calipers on his wheels. This is a sad, sad person.
Conversations with Vorpal |2:40 PM|
I made Vorpal Bunny a new avatar for his account on a message board. He's gone through a couple name changes. His last one was "Vorpal Bunny X" in reference to "Jason X". His latest one is "Vorpal Vs. Bunny". It has the below avatar:
I'm proud of the simple animation, as it wasn't quite as simple as flipping stuff around in Photoshop. It had to be under 10 kilobytes, take up a certain amount of space, etc. In fact, you can see where I biffed one of the frames if you look carefully. Unfortunately I only noticed the biffed frame as Vorpal was uploading the image to the board system (thus locking it into place). I still find it hypnotic.
Speaking of Vorpal, I was over at PortalStar's apartment one evening last week, and I had missed a call from him. I called him back:
*Ring Ring Ring Bananaphone...* Vorpal: Hello? Cecil: Hey man, I missed a call from you. I was preoccupied. Vorpal: Were you having sex? Cecil: No. We were playing Legend of Zelda. Vorpal: Oh, so you have a euphemism now. Cecil: No, we were actually playing Zelda. Vorpal: Uh huh. Well, now you'll have a euphemism when you beat the game. Cecil: I dunno, the new one is coming out soon, and we're not nearly finished with this one yet.
A sort of similar incident occurred several months ago at Portal's house. Her folks were going out to run errands, which would have left just Portal and me in the house. This Portal had challenged me to a match of James Bond multiplayer, and I was going to kick her butt before I went home. When we told the folks this they gave us a "Suuuuure" sort of look, and told Portal she wasn't allowed to have me over alone. Despite our insistence that our intentions were innocent (if dorky as hell) I was kicked out of the house. Dammit, we just wanted to play some Nightfire.
Crab God |8:36 AM|
As I may have already mentioned, I purchased a crab. I purchased other fish for my fish tank, but for the moment the crab is getting most of my attention. He's kind of cute, for a horrid little monster. For a creature that so closely resembles an armored spider, I don't feel the same immediate aggression as I do towards actual, land based arachnids.
The crab in question is called a red claw crab, but that's about the limit on reliable information that I can find on this creature.
Crabs are a little below dogs and cats in the level of "cuddliness" they possess. It certainly doesn't help that I'm about (consult google for weight conversion) 700 times larger than he is. His current behavior when I open the tank is to scuttle into his hiding places. This doesn't surprise me, seeing as the crab has a cluster of nerve endings serving as a brain, and a long term memory of about 15 seconds. I suppose that for each crab, their life resembles the movie Memento. "So what am I doing? Scuttling...right. Scuttling." Of course, were they to get tiny tattoos to remind them of the meaning of their lives it surely wouldn't be one demanding revenge or the record of some terrible wrong. It'd probably just be "food tastes good". It must be quite the religious experience each day for the crab, when I walk up to its universe.
"Scuttle...scuttle...dig. Digging. Digging...scuttle. Pinch claws. Scutt...HOLY FUCKTOIDS WHAT IS THAT?.....Oh hey there's food here. Eat. Scuttle..."
The crab probably isn't ever going to see me as anything more than a terrifying god that can change space and time, so I'm not training him to sit up, beg, or roll over any time soon. I wasn't aware he could hang upside down in his little cave, but it's not like there's a quick command for that trick. Well, besides tapping on the glass and saying "Hey! You fuckin' crab!" but that would scare the crab and possibly kill it, wasting my $2.99 investment.
I am still amused at watching him eat. If you want to imitate a crab, just move your arms in such a way that your hands come to your mouth but your wrists stay straight. Do it slowly, as if the very action depresses the hell out of you.
I suppose I could try an put a leash on the crab, assuming it wouldn't just clip right through it. However, I think the whole process of me trying to walk the crab would be immensely stressful for said crustacean.
"Hey, what's going on, what's this on my head? What the HOLY JEEEEEESUS CHRIST WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?....Hey, what's going on, what's this on my head?...."
This cake is decadent beyond human understanding. It's the devil's food cake recipe from the Ghiradelli cookbook my parents keep stealing from me. Damn, it's marvelous. I may bake another while I still have the supplies. Portal did a fantastic frosting job on it, my frosting efforts always come out disasterous. I'll have to have her over again to frost the second one. She was impressed that I keep baking parchment paper on hand.
Going to Vegas |3:10 PM|
Update: Alright, I'm no longer diseased, now I'm waiting for all the photos to be collected. I'm going to type this thing up today, for anyone who is reading that is interested. Meanwhile, to keep you interested here are some videos. You'll need the Divx codec to watch them, and they're somewhat rough. I learned some more about video compression so I'm getting better at the whole "Rip and Compress" thing, but these were before that.
|10:43 PM|
Those ballbusting shits in I/T finally blocked "Blogger.com". I wonder why it was available so long. Was it because it was being used by someone in I/T? Or was it because Blogger started trying to become a "community" of its own, with profile pictures and interest lists and stupid shit like that? The existence of blogger was that of a publishing tool. The community could arise from that.
But more than likely, it was just some shithead in the group that controls the firewall that decided to pull the plug. Best part of 'em ran down his mothers leg.
Anyhow, this is amusing.
http://www.terminalpacketloss.com/hosted/trek.avi 30 megs or so. That's Vorpal on the far left, then myself, then Toby to my right (Who does not look like Meatloaf), Deathbear (Who can't hold his liquor) and finally Sulzanti (tastes like Oreos)
|2:03 PM|
The new Resident Evil trailer is available. It looks remarkable, and far from intellectually stimulating. Which is just fine by me. I enjoyed the first one, and it wasn't exactly life changing. I only have one comment worth mentioning in this blog, and that is to make fun of the character design. The game's version of the Valentine character decided to change into a mini-skirt and a skimpy top before going into combat. While I understand showing skin, I find it more ridiculous to dress like that when you're going to be running and fighting zombies than the dead walking around. Looks like they kept the design for the movie Valentine. Eh, she's good looking, so I won't be complaining too much. It's just silly.
Edit: Ah, glorious schadenfreude. I hope Courtney Love goes to a jail even uglier than she is in that story's photo.
For reasons I don't understand, there is a certain joy in the idea of a dinosaur flying a kite:
Here are some images I made out of Calvin and Hobbes comics that I may or may not have already posted. The dance image was interesting to create in that the original strip lacked clear borders between frames, and in fact lacked an equal number of Calvins and Hobbes.
Edit: I found the image in question, and I'll link to it here as long as no one tells Mr. Watterson. Dance. Notice that on the first and second lines, there are unequal numbers of Calvins, and Hobbes. The whole idea of separate frames is abandoned. From reading his last book, Bill Watterson loved to experiment with his strip, abandoning certain format conventions to the (deliberate)consternation of comics page editors. I could go on and on but if you're interested in such things, take a look at "Understanding Comics" by Scott McCloud, or read Watterson's last book. Sheesh, the previous paragraph could have been shortened to "When I was stealing Watterson's images, and turning it into a short animation, I had to edit and re-use some of the note graphics, as well as re-arrange the Calvins to make proper frames due to his stylistic choices."
After Calvin has transmogrified himself into a Tiger: It also works as a general "Huh?" type image.
|4:19 PM|
People that disable the right mouse button functionality on their websites should be shot. Maybe in the leg. There are other functions of that menu besides "save image as..." you fucking dipshit.
I was browsing a page about titanium, and it brought up the interesting point that titanium burns in both oxygen and nitrogen. "Burns in nitrogen?" I thought. "How fascinating! I must learn more, but I wish to open it in a different window!". My youthful enthusiasm for learning, the love of the pursuit of scientific knowledge, all DASHED, in an instant, by their rightclick protection. Cocksuckers, their page doesn't even have that many images.
What the fuck am I doing here. |4:24 PM|
Man, I goofed up last night. I was supposed to eat dinner with my folks, and I was waiting for Portal to call me back after she was off of work, but I fell asleep. Dammit. Need to get my sleep schedule under some kind of real control. I'm getting better, but it's still not there. Hopefully the drug increases will work.
I'm trying to figure out what to get my father for father's day. I love my dad, but I hate that I am obligated to purchase him a gift on an entirely artificial holiday. It's like being made to feel guilty that I purchased a generic brand of orange juice instead of Minute Maid, pretty much because Minute Maid said so.
Hallmark can kiss the front of my car at 70, possibly 85 miles an hour. I want to purchase a gift from a company that isn't making any extra money by making people feel guilty about buying shit for people. I might give my dad a box of graham crackers. That's a gift that will last as long as a card, and would be appreciated more. Man, graham crackers would be tasty right now.
The real reason I'm posting this is that I wanted to share this gem of a trouble ticket problem description.
This is a printer,fax and scan machine that's does not fax. The Fax# 36861 and it's plugged up to jack number is now RR3-C279. We need to get this faxed fixed and have it all serviced
I spend a lot of my time decoding the crazy moonman language in which my trouble tickets are often written, and this one is a fine example. Another feature of this ticket is the demand that the printer be "serviced". Often customers will ask that among other things, the printer have the magical servicing process performed. Cleaning? Replacement? Waving a magic wand? People who ask for "service" almost always don't know what they want. It's another way of just saying "Just...just make it work!"
Here are some work-safe images X-rays of horrid accidents.
Restless drones |2:30 PM|
They're out there again. Chanting. I think it's a sales team, could be a human resources group. Whoever it is they're creepy. I can't understand what they're saying, I just hear garbled human noises
It'd be fun to think that it's some kind of horrid ceremony, that if I walked out there I'd interrupt them eating babies or throwing themselves around while holding snakes. However, I know it's just some motivational crap about "making a difference" or "owning the customer experience" or something equally mind numbing. If I was to go out there, there'd be no risk to any part of me, except my less cynical and sarcastic organs, such as my kidneys.
This is a short movie (922Kb) that defies description. You've likely seen images made from it, but the movie itself adds so much more.
Please don't make that face while driving |3:09 PM|
I was driving along with Portal the other day, and I was experiencing the weird drug induced anger I've been fighting for the past couple weeks. It tends to show itself more often in the car, as most other drivers are, to be honest, the worst human beings who have ever been born.
A greater number of them than usual were demonstrating just how much they needed to be converted into a protein paste, to be used for feeding of endangered birds so that their pathetic lives would have some purpose and meaning besides simply getting in my fucking way.
It was only when Portal asked me to stop "Making that face" and I asked "What face?" through gritted teeth that I realized I was making a face at all. The whole time I'd been driving, my eyes had been wide open, my cheeks stretched out, and my lips had been yanked across my clenched teeth. A good poker face, I do not have. But I wonder how many people had seen me.
Also, comments. Since the blogger comment system was pissing me off, I'm trying a new comment system. Wow, you even get to use anonymous commenting, if you so wish.
Please try it out, you don't have to sign your real name, and I want to make sure it works. If something breaks, I've pissed you off, or whatever, let me know via the comments.
If you've read the post, or liked the post, please let me know on the comment screen as well.
Edit: I keep forgetting to post this. It's that goddamn dancing banana that Vorpal loves, but from the color it is you can ascertain the current US terror alert level! This is fantastic.
Speaking of terror alert level, try this fun Propaganda game. There's a couple times when they put a more political spin on what happened to some celebrities (Like Michael Moore and Howard Stern), and it is 100% anti-bush propaganda, but give it a shot.
Also: This fellow is using the bluetooth capabilities of his cellphone as a way to get online with his laptop. Though I do not have a laptop, I do have a handheld, one that supports bluetooth. The idea of a $10 a month flat fee that would free me from T-mobile or one of those other wallet plunderers is exciting.
Clubbing and kittens |2:55 AM|
Just got back from downtown. I went out with Allison and Sabrina, who were celebrating a graduation for one and a birthday for the other. Outside the Flamingo Cantina Allison and I ran into the cutest damn kitten. Yeah, I'm a big sap for posting images of some baby cat, but the little guy enthralled my group for 10 minutes.
Should a unit of measure be invented for cuteness, watching this orange kitten rub itself on the chin of the door guy would be off the charts. It crawled around his neck, looking for warmth and a friendly nipple. He was pleased to know the kitten had a home, and had been amused by how much oohing and ah-ing there had been so far.
Also, it's looking likely that I'm heading to Vegas in mid July. I managed to get the time off of work, I should easily have the cash, and Will and Rissa seem interested in going as well. The trip is Vorpal's idea, but I'm becoming more receptive to it as time passes. Why would I hesitate in going to Vegas? It's a long story, but it involves dorkiness on a grand scale. I'll post my response to the situation soon enough, I have to figure out what it is first.
I delayed the purchase of the Celica until next paycheck, so I could be sure to afford food and gasoline afterward. This has turned out to be an excellent choice as I have now found out a friend of mine is an excellent negotiator. As I may have mentioned in the past, I despise haggling. Give me a damn price, and I'll pay it or I won't. His attitude is that for just speaking to us, the salesman should be taking $1,500 off the price of the car. This fellow is positive he can get the car for well under what I was expecting, along with the tax, title, and license. Bitchin'.
All hail responsible decision making. I'm still going to have scary teeth painted onto the front. Perhaps I should a vanity license plate as well. It'd have to be a fully spelled word, though. None of this "2gud4U" crap, which makes me want to hit other cars.
When lamenting, be it for a defeat, the failure of mankind, or that you left $500 worth of cooking supplies including your cookie sheet back at your previous apartment, proper form is a must.
It is important to keep the center of mass over the base of support. The most crucial part of this is taking a small step back as you throw up your arms and yell "DAMN YOU ALL TO HEEEEEEELLL!" as to maintain balance.
Giant Boomerang |3:22 AM|
Edited a bit for mostly spelling issues. I left the really bad ADHD signs in there.
Do you recall "bumper stumpers"? Goddamn, that was a stupid goddamn show.
Portal and I went out to the field near the apartment I had to leave last week on 36 hours notice. It had been mowed, and I had a chance to show her what an ant hill looks like during "mating day". But ants were not why we were out there, we were throwing the boomerang.
I was throwing well enough that I pulled on a work glove and tried to catch the damn thing on a return pass, but I couldn't quite pull it off. Practice, practice. Also, we brought out this monstrous, crimson "Spalding Classic" boomerang that I bought for 8 bucks right before Portal gave me my current nice one. The difference between the 8 dollar one and the nice, $20-30 one was shocking. We couldn't even get the red one to turn around during flight. It did make a great noise as it left your hand, though. The damn thing was so heavy that during the throw a horrid "Thwoo...Thwooo" noise was produced, like the air itself was yelling and dodging out of the way. Here is an image of me posing stupidly. Please note the sweat had weighed down my hair. Pictured is the nice boomerang with its slightly...jubilant color scheme. I like it, I just wouldn't bring it into a bar with me.
I'm still messing around on OKcupid. This one chick I was talking to suddenly changed her pictures around, and the "seeing someone, but still friendly" vanished from her profile. From her messages, it became even more clear that she'd broken up with her boy toy. Problem was, her new pictures made her strongly resemble this chick I'd stopped talking to ages ago in less than ideal circumstances. Why was this a problem? Because I couldn't show Vorpal the chick's profile without him implying that she looked just like previously mentioned girl. Anyhow, today he was bitching about not finding anyone, and I happened to mention this chick. The first thing out he said to me after he looked at her profile was "These pictures remind me of [girl]." After I explained that I knew he'd say that, there was much guffawing. Here's the chick in question Here is The Revolution will not be televised because I feel like it.
Hosting clean up |12:50 PM|
Here are a bunch of links to weird crap in the /hosted folder. I deleted some of the more obviously pointless links, but I left a lot of the random ones in there to give you an idea of what a hodge podge it is.
"A guy at a big computer company that works in service dispatch or similar claims that this is an actual call. He says it's not a prank based on a "Crank Yankers" sketch. Sick technician craps all over her house or so she says. "
|2:54 AM|Dick is a killer: Tape loop parody song of George W. Bush speech. Fairly amusing in parts. I put it here because I wanted to download it at home, and found that the original host had taken it down. I assume other people might have had a similar problem, so here it is.
Sold books I went to Half Price books on Sunday, carrying two big boxes of books. I was paid more cash than I expected, I bought some pulpish novels to read at work, and got rid of a whole lot of stuff that I won't have to carry when I move. So why did I feel bad about it? Some of the books were gifts, some of them I'd had for years and years. I'd read my fill of them, though, and if I need them again I know where I can find them. I still felt kind of guilty about selling them, but I knew it to be an unreasonable feeling. I told PortalStar that a couple of them were some of the best books-as-gifts I'd received as a child, and she replied that now hopefully some other child will get them and be just as excited. I'll probably end up selling several more boxes of books, and that reminds me, I need to send Sinclair back his Dylan books. Speaking of Sinclair, let's all congratulate him on getting a job. HUZZAH.
Portal, Vid and I went Geocaching on Sunday. That was a fine outing, it's been a while since we've gone. The caches we found weren't all the exciting, but getting to them was very interesting. At one point, we had to construct a primitive bridge to cross a river that I estimated to be "Eh, looks like a foot or so deep." As it turned out, that was just how far down I could see, as when the bridge collapsed Vid found the actual depth to be several feet. We scared off a herd of turtles, and found a color changing lizard called an...oh crap. Annul? Anuol? I'll ask Vid. At one point I had the choice of being educational or being a smart ass when the question of pollution and its effect on scenic areas.
Cecil: Speaking of, did you know that you can't read that Egyptian relic, Cleopatra's Needle they have in New York? Portal: Oh? Why is that? Cecil: Because it's written in fuckin' Egyptian!
But you don't have to take my word for it, take a look at this link!
bought robot feel better Linux machine STILL FUCKING DOWN Buying that vase Fark linked to pictoz.com again Need to move the T-shirts
Do you know me? Then you've likely already seen this image |9:53 AM|
If you've had any contact with me in the last several weeks, then you've seen my welding Goggles. If you were online last night then you were sent the following version of that image made by a poster on SA. Well, I think it's nifty and it's possible someone out there hasn't seen it. So here it is: (Click for a bigger, better version)
Hey, when I get hit by a Colgate truck or whatever ends me, could you stuff and mount me near a popular intersection? I'd like to being posed in death as I lived, flipping people off with a grin on my face. I want lizard eyes, though. And fangs.
Not to say I'm a fan... |9:32 AM|
Howard Stern has been pulled off the air. The FCC, which gladly allowed Clear Channel to vanilla-fy the airwaves of radio, has made a crusade of enforcing decency. Glad to see they're willing to enforce the more popular and profitable regulations.
Thank goodness they fucking failed so utterly to do so on the internet. Bring on the random breast exposure:
The Three Mr. P's. Or something. |10:48 AM|
Last night, I was delayed in going to Portal's house by my Past, some Pornography, and my Poppa. I had just told Portal I was leaving soon when a friend of mine sent me an AIM message showing me pictures of the current boyfriend of a former friend of mine. We remarked that his head looked kind of "smooshed". I think it's a medical term. Right after that, my dad (using my little sister's AIM client) sends me a message asking where his "f******* cookbook" was. Since the cookbook is mine, and I wasn't about to let my father self censor, I replied "You mean MY apeshitting, dogfucking cookbook?" I went on to use some other foul language when my dad, still sending messages on a pink background in a giant purple font, sent back "Don't try to impress me."
It stopped me in my tracks. Normally when on a cursing tear like that, nothing really slows me down. My dad managed to. When I explained this, he said "Thanks for the props, dog."
Ugh. At least he wasn't changing letters into numbers. At about this point, some random poster on a forum asked me if I still wanted pictures of a girl I had posted. I had posted a thread, in a pornographic context, asking "can you identify this chick?" with a bunch of pictures of chickens and ducks, also included were some random women from my webhosting. I went to the trouble of accepting his offering of a bunch of pictures of this girl. (I'd been using the image as a punchline to a bunch of rack related jokes recently)
Portal was only partially amused at my explanations as to why I was late. "You were late because you were downloading pornography?" "Not for me! I was going to post it in this silly thread I made." "Oh! So pornography for other people! You're getting picture for other people to jack off to? Isn't that kind of...gay?"
What did you do at 5am? I made PocketPC themes |1:06 PM|
I was messing around with PocketPC themes, and I had some difficulty making good ones. I have plenty of interesting images, or pictures of attractive women, or surreal/extraordinary photos, but few of them make good themes. They have to have a consistent color so you can choose the right text color. That sort of thing. After a couple failed attempts, the following are the two with which I am happy. My themes have the advantage of using copyrighted artwork. Click the images to download them, but since I'm the only person that reads this blog that uses a handheld, I don't think many people will click them.
The Axolotl is a fascinating creature for a number of reasons, including its grotesque appearance, its ability to regenerate, and primarily the fact that it exhibits the phenomenon known as neoteny.
A pal of mine has a directory named what at first appeared to be random characters. At some point a long time ago, I found out it was the name of a strange creature. If you click the above link you'll learn all about them.
What is it like to be dead? |2:22 PM|
Recently I decided that I'd like to know more about the experience the dead have been having with their post-life existence. I sent several letters to Former-President Lincoln and will update you on his response.
Also a few seconds ago I sneezed while eating a cookie and it was disgusting.
A smattering |12:06 PM|
As an aside, sorry the site was down. Continued mayhem caused by my credit card being shutdown. Did I mention that? My credit card number was among quite a few others "at risk" when a computer at Visa was stolen. None of the numbers have been used, apparently, and so it would appear the thief was just after a free computer. I didn't know about this, as my bank had the wrong address for me. So the "Important notice" and "Hey, asshole, we're turning off your debit card!" did not make their way into my hands. How unfortunate. Meanwhile, I was going around town flipping out that my card wasn't working ("Goddamn stupid fucking bank!? What's wrong NOW?!"). Finally, at a UFCU ATM, my card was confiscated. At which time I flipped out to a greater degree and made faces at the camera while flipping it off, as well as yelling "Goddamn ape-shitting CHRIST what the FUCK" and other such phrases.
I went by the bank the next day and it was all resolved. I did not ask the account executive to drink a gallon of my urine in order to retain my accounts ("You won't? Are you not authorized to drink my urine? Is your supervisor here? Are they able?") As this whole mess was a great deal My Fault. Fuck.
I managed to "Hire" FluteFyre to take care of shipping my shirts, as I suck at it. As long as there are profits, she'll get paid. Now all I have to do is calculate the profit on each shirt, or just hope we sell enough shirts that we pass the $1400 mark and everything is "profit".
One of the few pictures I have of FluteFyre is from right after a trip to a water park. She doesn't usually wander around in a bathing suit.
This was in the same directory of images, and it amuses me. ARRRRRRR.
Finished Rise of Endyminion. Took me long enough. I had lost my copy of the fourth book in this series. Not wanting to throw money away by buying another copy, I'd occasionally sneak into bookstores and read a couple pages, as I was very close to the end when I lost it. I found my copy while cleaning, and was nearing the end again when my cat vomited on it. GODDAMMIT. I cleaned it up as best I could, and then waited a couple days for the book itself to dry out. Ugh.
I was called "honest looking" by some drunk folks the other day, but they wanted to use my cellphone. I think people who are hoping to rely on strangers being nice and honest will at least attempt to act nice themselves, unless they're trying to steal your wallet. Heck, they may still act nice to you.
Gene Boosting. Ooooh yeah. Sign me up, as long as it isn't lethal. I'd like to be stronger and hardier. Fuck yeah.
I was looking through drafts, and came across a couple of note. One was an entry I had to pull because it mentioned a friend of mine, whose ex-boyfriend was giving her crap about the picture in the post. Another was This old post set to "draft" I assume to keep from worrying people. It's not exactly tame, but it's not a suicide letter. Besides, I like some of the (admittedly foul) imagery.
PortalStar would like to say... |2:05 AM|
Guest Speaker PortalStar:
Heeloo everyone it ist my 21st irthday and I am dvunk. I havbe theyy Brenceceil to hthank for that. And fados and red fexz but no t boyxz cellar because they cahrge cover. I am happy. I am intociscated. Have a happy one. Yes/.
Images I am now posting |12:48 AM|
Speaks for itself: Oppenheimer is fascinating.
This is me asleep in an Airport in Jersey. I had just finished getting everyone to the airport, had been the only one awake enough to drive, and had just found out I was stranded. I was damned sleepy, and VERY skinny. This was also the same time I was first noticed to be sleeping with my eyes open. I still want a picture of that.
This one is not work safe. Tasha I have no idea where this image came from. I remember keeping it around to show to a lesbian friend of mine, but I don't have any clue where I got it.
Instead of a real update, here is another picture of those goggles |11:59 PM|
I have plenty to type here, but I'm actually tired. It was a busy weekend, Spike and Mike's cartoon festival, a birthday, a huge purchase of art supplies with Portal, some damn project on Friday that I can't remember. Instead of typing it up right now, or fixing movable type, or updating the front page, I'll just paste the crap I sent to a couple people over instant messaging, and hope it amuses who ever is reading this.
"In a world, where eye protection is a memory.... "In a system, where case hardened steel is a crime... "One man must become a grim hero, for a grim time....
Stupid Shit you do with stolen goods |6:27 PM|
I still have this stolen bank capsule. As pictured below, it makes a crappy hat. But Vorpal and I tried to find something to do with it last night.
I used it to pay for a late meal and made a "Fwoomp" noise while giving it to the waitress. (I tipped her well). Fwoomp 7 megs
The capsule was taken to the pharmacy with "Prozac" written on it and I complained that I wasn't that depressed. The video of that is a little big so until I or Vorpal has edited it down, I give you a video of me trying to pogo-stick after eating WAY too much pizza. No vomitting, I'm sorry. (7 megs)
It's functionality as a soapbox was tested, I tried to recite the Gettysburg address before FAILURE. soapbox 756K
We filled it with glow sticks and a ninja turtle but that kind of sucked.
Wreindeer Games |1:12 AM|
I had to get Vorpal a gift and properly show my appreciation for all his hard work. (Drinking).
So I broke into his pad with a key he'd lent me about a year ago or so. I can't keep my bills paid but I can hold onto a key I don't need but once a year.
His gift is still a suprise because I left the damn thing at Portal's place when I was making the wrench reindeer. I just left him some books he'd left in my car. Merry Fucking Christmas.
I'm a bad blog reader |2:35 PM|
At about the same time that I stopped updating for a while, I stopped reading other blogs. I'm sort of getting back into the swing of it, but look what I missed:
For the record, that is awesome, and the term society hack is fucking awesome.
Well documented on the internet First mention. It's so wonderfully nonchalant. Some more Sevencubed Long time readers will realize this is a friend of JP's. Also, he helped make the pictograms. A strange Cartoon done by JP's ex.
Portal isn't a big fan of my car shaving. I only do it at intersections and stops, though.
Here we are investigating the weird thing (Photo is enhanced-ish) on top of the parking garage I used to like. Vorpal is either synch-ing his watch or belching loudly. Rissa looks towards the object, wondering "What is it venting?"
Last night I won a poker tourney netting me $50 in gift certificates to Fado's. It's an Irish pub in town. I took first, and it was free, so I think it was a good deal. Nice, friendly amateurs. The term, I believe, is "Berry patch".
I parked my car across 2 handicapped spaces, shooting for 3. I quickly moved my car. It was a Saturday, so don't get in a fluff.
|2:18 AM|
An old friend of mine is bitching (rightfully so) that I didn't update when I said I would. Another friend is pissed that I didn't tell him I was going to Phoenix, even though I thought I had. Especially since there were movie tickets involved.
Anyhow, I'm in Phoenix, sitting on a computer at 1:30 am. I should probably cut out my own heart for being such a dork, but transportation options are limited, as I flew out here. An earlier conversation with Vorpal degenerated into him asking me if I was in Phoenix, and if I had a bed yet. Since I had to say "no" to the bed question, I fell back to taunting him about his girlfriend being even farther away from him then I was at the time. It was a cruel fight. Then we started claiming how ach other's girlfriend could beat up the others, which is luckily the point that Vorpal declared he was about to go get drunk and ended the call.
While at Jamba juice today, remarkable sightings were made. High school seniors in the new mandatory uniforms on a lunch break: schoolgirls1s.jpg schoolgirls2s.jpg
Yes, I took pictures of school girls. Sue me.
Here's the more important pictures, though. This guy's girlfriend had an incredible hair dye job. It was impressive, and she wasn't too bad looking. The guy then got in his car, a rust bucket, but I then realized it looked an awful lot like my dream car, a 57 DeSoto. desoto1s.jpg desoto2s.jpg Sulzanti and I discussed it, and we agreed he was living the dream. The next day (today) I saw him the same couple drive by. I wouldn't have thought it was them if not for the dyed hair. Sulz thinks she's the spoils of war, that he's my arch enemy. I have to say, my Nemesis (Spotts) is still no where to be found, but I don't think it was him...
Here my girlfriend humors me by taking a picture of me being attacked by a giant spider. spider2s.jpg
A while ago, a very close friend made me a necklace, to this day I still wear it when I get a chance. I'd been trying to find something to wear around my neck to hold a talisman of some kind. I'd settled on steel chain but I hadn't purchased it by the time I was to leave. PortalStar, as a good luck charm, gave me a ring. I had a talisman, I had a necklace. I combined them. necks.jpg I didn't think anyone would notice, but the guy at the sushi buffet commented on good it looked, and I was able to say it was all hand made. (The ring, so far as I know, was made by Portal, if not then by the guy I buy my rings from). He was impressed at the craftmanship of both, apparently.
|1:25 PM|
I was out on 6th street last night. I was bored, and awake, and so I hit the town with a person I sort of know through Vorpal.
While on 6th street, I noticed a woman with a tablet PC walking around, asking people questions. Further investigation revealed that she was a cigarette company rep, surveying people and giving out free lighters to people who answered four questions. The lighter in question was a nifty zippo, so I took the survey. The woman needed to scan my ID to "Confirm that I was 21". While I'm sure they intended to somehow track me, I gave them an ID listing an address that hasn't been accurate in 5 years. After the scan, she asked me what cigarette type I smoked ("Camel Turkish Golds"). No, I don't actually smoke. After signing the tablet PC in loopy ass writing, I was given the Free Copper Zippo. I lied, cheated, and stole from a tobacco company, and I can't feel guilty. Yes, what I did was dishonest and I'm not exactly proud of that, I find it difficult in the extreme to feel remorse for any crazy dis-service to the tobacco companies. I'm going to pay the $5 or so to have "Go Die" engraved onto it.
We stayed out late enough that breakfast was in order, and afterwards is when things got a bit hairy. Before the hairiness, at one point Kristy stole my camera to prevent photos. She then kicked at my groin, so I grabbed her foot and removed her shoe. Another pic
The hairiness arose when it was discovered that a particular lot had tow-away hours of 3am to 5am. The female friend I was out with had a male friend along, and his car had been towed. Now suddenly I was the designated driver and chauffeur for 2 people and I had to get this guy's car out of impound (Total maximum time car could have been in lockup: 1.5 hours. Total cost to guy: $118. Car towing is a scam. Maybe they'll start giving away free shit in exchange for lies.) He paid the fees, and scrammed. I took the female side of the party to her apartment and met her parrots, pictured below.
You'll have to bear/bare with me here. I've been off of my adderall for several days now, and the effects it is having on me are peaking. Portal noticed my supervillian side becoming more and more obvious, while I've noticed my impulsive nature taking off.
This evening portal, her roommate Alex and I attended a book signing by Em and Lo, 2 sex columnists from Nerve.com. We got a group shot with them. Note that they both have crossed their legs the same way, and also note that I look like total shit.
They gave a presentation about proper anal sex preparation, and performance, all while dressed as flight attendants. It was highly educational. While we there, I happened to run into the hippie chick that I had tried to setup with Vorpal in the past. (As a refresher, Here is a picture of her from that "date"). It's too bad she ran off after the show, or we could have had an extremely akward conversation. Portal did comment that her dress was pretty, she was not at all "catty".
In my hyper-impulsive state, I purchased a book by Dave Eggers that I was told to get by Sabrina. She thinks he's a modern marvel. I didn't realize it was by this guy, I just noticed the title "You Shall Know Our Velocity!" while waiting in line at book people. The realization of the author and the recollection of Sabrina's recommendation cascaded in from there.
Portal's roommate said this was a catalog of her nervous tics: Mouth suck Play with Earrings.
Did she just say "twat"? |11:02 AM|
Over the weekend I went with Portal, a friend of hers named Stefanie(Next to portal), and a guy who's handle I haven't come up with yet. I'll just call him "K" because his name starts with that. Oh, before I forget, K works for a game company, which means I envy him to a certain extent. However, he his company has been working on the same game for the last several years which means I can taunt him. I attempted to interview him about this game, without violating his NDA.
That was the sum total of the interview. Had I pressed the issue, I'm sure he would have fashioned a crude weapon from water ride parts and murdered me. K is a programmer, working on gameplay and "Low level physics stuff". He's a cool fellow, so I hope the game gets out the door, and the whole game industry is forced to eat crow.
Since no-one really reads this blog that could fire the guy, I feel safe in posting an image of him looking dead. Another image of Stefanie. After the water park, here is a Group Shot.
While at Portal's house, her step-mother was arguing with Portal's younger sister about her selection of jeans. We were all trying to be polite about why they were too tight. At the end of her rope, her step-mother yells "She means she can see your twat!", shocking me into silence. The sister got the message and ran off to go change. Here is the Groin in question.
I guess it was just so shocking to hear this otherwise proper-to-a-fault woman using language that I am slow to use. I of course, still often shock Portal with my cursing. This same woman (the one that shocked me) kicked me out of the house because I was going to be alone with Portal. We just wanted to (dorkily enough) play a videogame. The step-mother thought we wanted to have sex. Portal has her own apartment, if we wanted to be alone, we'd just go there. Such logic was lost on the step-mother, but she was still throwing around twat.
People who appreciate the pirate joke will appreciate this.
I've been listening to requiems. |1:32 AM|
Continuing my habit of posting images of myself, I will now post a pair of images that I think compliment each other very well. Both were taken by PortalStar, outside of "Rowdy Town" during a car smash party.
The song of the moment is this version of Dies Irae. This is an edited clip, from the first minute and a half of a much longer version. The name of it is "Dies Irae (Requiem)". Trillian asked me if I listened to many requiems, and at that point I realized that I did. I responded that my selection of classical music has to be "Sweeping, emotional, angry, powerful. I'm listening to the music to be moved to action, rarely anything else. "
My wheelchair weighs 2 tons. |11:50 AM|
I'm off the crutches, already. So much faster this time, than the last. I was back onto the foot as soon as possible, ignoring most of the pain, taking advil and icing it as need, and I healed more quickly. In injury situations, you might want to ask yourself "What would a hunter-gatherer do?". This is not an acceptable course of action for most other day-to-day events, such as interacting with the bank ("Stab with flint") or most doors in buildings ("Stab with bigger flint").
I still carry a crutch around, just in case the pain gets to be intolerable, but that's happening less and less now. PortalStar's cousins were still in town last night, along with one of their girlfriends. I used them to model pictoz.com shirts, so I finally have advertising material. With a price sheet, adverts, and almost some kind of plan, I'm ready to relaunch that goddamn site.
Last night, before we tried going to lasertag (Closed) then bowling (closed) then the arcade (Dorky, but succesful), Portal had us all try out some odd hair dyes and gels. It was amusing, and the hair styles we end up with were imaginative, if nothing else.
I look pretty swell with blue hair, but you can't tell from these image: Blue Hair
|1:45 PM|Bar: Met up with a couple friends at a bar. Picture is Allison and Sabrina. My hair has already melted, so no spikes in this image. concertlegs:This woman had really nice legs, and interesting stockings. So Allison and I convinced her to let us take a picture of her. She was a bassist in the previous band. painting: This painting had apparently showed up out of the blue at The Mercury 3 nights before I showed up. I was interested in it but the bartender had not other info than that. oopspants: I was taking a picture of RockStarCasey and Vorpal right as Casey was noticing a rip in his pants. Whoops. friendzone: Vorpal and I had to educate a woman on what the "Friend Zone" was. She had no idea.
The party: A celebration of Piss Chugging |12:27 AM|
Quite a few months ago, Vorpal was drafted into service to the cause of making an asshole drink piss. Vorpal went to quite a bit of effort, including pissing into a measuring cup, straining out ice, yadda yadda. In the end, the jerk off thought he was drinking a new, chilled bottle of beer. Contents: Vorpal Urine.
At this party, we had prior warning of the asshole's arrival. A plan was set in motion, involving the previous incident's preparation (The chilling of piss, among other things) and the organization of a beer chugging contest. The contest was a sham, it was all meant to get the guy to not only drink urine, but to chug it.
You can see the video of him doing it here: No sound version of piss chugging The video with sound and commentary (As well as an interview with mister Piss tongue in which I'm standing behind him with a sign that says "PISS!" and making drinking gestures) will be up in the near future.
Before you feel bad for the guy, realize that he was an asshole. A telling quote: "I don't fuck 'em and leave 'em! I fuck 'em, fuck 'em again, and then leave 'em! HAR HAR!" Anyhow, his new nickname is "2.0".
Speaking of piss, I "won" a metaphorical pissing match. Portal happened to see this, and thought it was cute. I was walking from the kitchen with a coke in my hand, when a fantastically drunk party-goer stood in front of me. He pointed out that my drink was non-alcoholic.
Cecil: "I'm a designated driver." Drunk: "So?" Cecil: "I'm taking 5 people home." Drunk: (Becoming more confrontational) "So?" Cecil: "I'm not drinking."
That's when he began fumbling at his pocket and making vague "Why should I let you not drink?" statements, as well as something to the effect of "What are you going to do about it/this?" His body language had started to take on an air of "I want to fight." I assumed he had a weapon at that point, so while staring him down I did something stupid. I said "Because I'm trained in a variety of ways to kill you."
That's when he pulled the knife. Not looking at the knife, and locking eyes with him, I said "Why don't you put the knife away?" Which could have been easily translated as "You have now threatened me with a weapon. You have crossed a line, and if I feel like it, I will put that knife into your eye."
He hesitated, broke eye contact, and then put the knife away. I offered my hand for a shake, to show no hard feelings, and to express dominance. Pulling a weapon really steps over a line, but no one needed to be stabbed. Vorpal's brother would have been pissed if I got blood on his floor. Despite the knife, Portal thought the whole situation was "cute" in a "really stupid testosterone way" (Not a quote).
I may have mentioned Punk Rock Girl in the past. She's the one with the forked tongue, of which I now have pictures. As the party wound down, Vorpal and I executed a stunning job of lay-enabling for our pal Rockstar Casey (with Punk Rock Chick being the target, of course). I managed to extract her from her current ride, make sure she was riding with my group, and get her and Casey to his car. It was like a ballet, but with more sex at the end.
After dropping off Casey and Punk Rock at his car, I was driving Portal home. On the side of the road were some folks pushing a car and waving for assistance. Forgetting for a second that I had someone in the car with me, I pulled over. Long story short, I'm now the new owner of a gas can, as the nearest gas station wouldn't lend me one, they'd only sell it to me. I helped the stranded folks without endangering Portal, and I now can carry up to a FULL EXTRA GALLON of gasoline in my trunk. It's tough to do the good Samaritan actions when you won't trust the people you're helping. I didn't let them ride in my car (I wouldn't have even if Portal hadn't been in the car) and I didn't want to leave Portal in the car while I helped push their vehicle up the hill. In the end, buying them a can of gas was the safest route. Gas can, beer tap, jumper cables. I'm a traveling solution, baby.
Succesful Geo-caching. |4:11 PM|
Videodrome, PortalStar and I went Geocaching yesterday. Damn, what a great hobby, dorky and outdoorsy at the same time. We hunted down a fake bird, and climbed a mininature mountain. We traded trinkets for baubles, and ran into a fellow geocacher. Despite my yells to Videodrome of "Kill him...KIIIILLLL HIM!" There was no bloodshed. Well, besides the insect bites.
Vid has a couple images he's archiving, I'll post some links when he's got them uploaded.
I had a good, relaxing time. I spent a great deal of time in the pool, and eating. My back is red, and itching, from the massive sunburn. With any luck what's left of my skin will tan, so I won't look quite as pale as I usually do.
Saw a couple movies, enjoyed a 4th of July barbeque, spent time shooting the shit with good people, it was a busy trip.
Most of the really amusing stuff is portrayed in the pictures. You don't bother taking a picture when you're relaxing and contemplating existence. When I go to Arizona, I can get far enough away from my normal life to gain insight. It's much easier to make logical and rational decisions when you aren't as intimately connected to a situation, or person. In order to escape yourself, you need to escape all the normal parts of your life. Very little drama erupted during my time. I did my best not to polarize the social groups, but it's clear that it was occurring without my help.
I did start to miss Portalstar quite a bit, so I was glad to get back into town. Once home, I began missing the friends I had visited. I found myself looking for them while walking around my own home, until I caught and chided myself. Seeking behaviour comes naturally to me, and I have to supress it.
I'm feeling more of my sense of humor returning, and I'm making other folks laugh again. I don't think I did anything particularly boneheaded while I was in Arizona, but I'm sure I'll hear about it if I did.
The following is an outline to help me jog my own memories.
AZ trip: Wedensday was arrival. Chris's strange project. Thursday was T3 Friday was big BBQ Saturday was Charlie's Angels 2 Sunday was the mall and game works Monday I departed
I am a capitalist scumbag |8:45 AM|
Went with Portal out to "First Thursday" which is a street party-esque event down on South Congress. The stores stay open a lot later, there's live music, street performers, merchants, craftsman, and famous transvestites that are running for mayor.
Parking is a bit of a bitch, but I managed to find a really nice spot. It was adjacent to another parking space that was being vacated as I parked. Right as I get out of my car, this enormous bus pulls up. The people inside yell "Hey! If we give you $10 will you find some place else to park?". I took their money (as Portal rolled her eyes), moved my car, and quickly found another place to park. I tried to give the money back but they told me to keep it. "Dude, you helped us, dude!". The bus was completely covered in Paul Frank type art. Before I noticed the Paul Frank stuff, I had asked them if they were a band of some kind. They claimed to be part of "Road Rules", so I suddenly didn't feel as guilty taking their money (I somehow doubt the veracity of that statement). Damn reality shows.
I met a guy playing a didjeridu, and we discussed proper playing technique. He taught me a few tricks to try for learning "circular breathing" which is the key to that instrument. He didn't have a hat out, he said he hadn't brought it this time, that he was just out there doing it for fun. Nice fellow. Portal claims I'm really good with strangers, to which I have no real reply. I might jokingly suggest that I'm not afraid of stranger danger, because said strangers should be much more afraid of my unpredictable self.
This lighter is terrifying to a pair of gamblers with whom I play poker. I have no idea, but they both seem quite afraid of it, and told me to get rid of it as soon as possible. Also, one of them specified "Whatever you do, just don't throw it onto your bed". Seeing as I don't have a bed at the moment, I'll avoid throwing it onto my couch. Wait, what am I saying? I'm going to try hiding it around one of these guy's houses. Actually, since my roommate is dating one of them, I may hide it on her bed before the two of them get home. I'll get to the bottom of this one way or another.
If you happen to know why the heck I should be afraid of a yellow lighter, please let me know.
The damn webcam portal is broken. Here is an exciting image of me.
13 days until International Vampire Meetup day. I'm abandoning Vid's axe murder idea in favor of going undercover. I'm thinking of investing in a digital camcorder. The Sony that my uncle just bought rules an inordinate amount of ass, and even has the nightshot feature. Very cool if I start creeping around places at night. If I do purchase a digital camcorder, I'll be taking it to this "Meetup Day" for documentation purposes. It should be amusing, and I wonder if I should wear plastic fangs? What are the rules of vampire etiquette? Should I be excited by the movie "Underworld" or offended by it? Do I bring my own blood, or do I bring cash to pay the person who does? If I brought a hip flask of pig's blood, how many people could I get to drink it? Ruffles, how many ruffles should I have on my shirt?
Now that I feel less like crap |10:13 AM|
Waking up at 9am on Sunday, spending the day at Kraussy springs, hanging out all night with the girlfriend, working all day monday, getting 2 hours of sleep only to go to work again, and I now have my answer to "Why do I feel like crap?". I'm feeling a lot better, amazing what 6 hours of sleep can do for a person. I was spacing out terribly last night, and I could barely hold a conversation with Portal. She's awfully patient with me when she needs to be. Yes, I was very careful driving home. It wasn't like monday morning where I was slapping myself in the car to stay awake. I think I was actually far more tired after sleeping for 2 hours then I was later in the day after work, but far more mentally drained. Awwww crap. The cable guy just called my cell. I just remembered that I left the old modem at the old apartment. Shit. I hope he can at least turn the damn thing on for me, I can handle the rest. Shit shit.
As far as being declared a "playa". I was pulling into Shortstop (A burger joint that I'm a fan of, for those outside Austin) and the guy at the window suddenly recognized me. I had been going to Shortstop for ages, and it was only today that the entire staff suddenly remembered who I was. Window guy: "Hey! It's the playa!" Me: "Playa?" Window Guy: "How you doin'? Haven't seen you in a while!" Me: "Yeah, working more hours." Window guy: (To another coworker): "It's the playa!" (to me) "You eat here a lot." Me: "Cheap and tasty!" Window Guy: "Hell yes. Best burgers in the area!" (To a guy on lunch break across the parking lot) "This guy is a playa!"
I have no idea what any of it means. But it was an ego boost. Oh, a guy who's opinion I respect said I'd always been straight with him. That made me feel damn good, it's not like I'm going to go marry the guy, but it was like a handshake after a good party. The guy has always been straight with me, as well, so I knew he was telling the truth.
|2:07 PM|
As Will/Dante requests, I have more pictures. Like of Portal not hurting me. I was at the grocery store, foraging for ingredients when I came across The most disturbing cereal box I have seen in ages. The EYES.
Messing around in photoshop yielded this this odd image.
Long dark tea time. |4:55 PM|
At about 1:30pm here it freaking DIED. The work day was crawling along at the speed of mammal evolution. So I played with my digital camera. Maybe you'll be amused, maybe not. For your consumption. There might be rain in my office. My Gosh! The chairs! They must long for the pitter patter of tiny ottomans. A trashcan. That one was by request. Eeesh. That's me with the teeth of Sue the T-Rex. Cone hat. Also by request. The hat is better displayed here. Cone hat 2. My expression is better in this picture. Auctioning my stapler to invisible men that live in my desk.
I've been offline since Friday, but some interesting things happened over the weekend. What I'll do is make posts about them, so you can see them beneath this post at the times they actually occurred. Continuing the trend of documenting Haley's hair colors, I bring you: Haley Hair 1 and Haley Hair 2.
Here are pictures from under my desk. Here's another. Yes, I am a big dork. But I bring these images to you for almost a reason. I had forgotten that ages ago I had abused my color laser printing ability and printed out pin-up art and taped it down there. Totally forgotten about that, but it's still there. Blurred out for a variety of reasons.
|11:14 PM|Vorpal had his official graduation on friday. I was damned busy while moving, and several of Vorpal's other friends were occupied, like leaving town. Vorpal seemed bummed about the lack of celebration. AcidsCraze, Dante, and I suprised Vorpal at his apartment with gifts and cards. I believe mine was a blank sunflower card, with a picture of a snake drawn in Strong Bad style (S and more different S) with "OMG SNAKE LOL". We got him to dress up in his robes, though. He felt enough gratitude at our outpouring of love and generosity to don his silly costume. Vorpal Robes And Again
|10:25 AM|This post has finally been edited to include the images I promised. I'll take this time to post images from the camera of various animals and other creatures I ran into recently.
Outside Korea house (Which has excellent Sushi) There were toads, singing to each other.
The next morning, Portal and I went out for breakfast at Magnolia Cafe, which is a nice (sometimes) place to purchase French toast. While wandering around outside, we came across a baby grackle that had apparently jumped out of the nest. We didn't want to touch the little guy since it was possible momma or poppa was watching, and waiting to get him back.
Later that evening we saw the LadeeLeroy show. The posters were neato, but we were unable to snag one of them. I spoke to LL and she said that she had to end up stealing one herself from a coffee shop she frequents. She gave me permission to go gank one from where ever I could.
This is a picture of the view I have out my window at my new apartment. It's a solid brick wall, which can be described as "cozy". Portal says she might paint me a sky. I've got two windows, so I'll probably put the sky in one and leave the other cozy. More details as they emerge.
The chicken caper |4:06 PM|You know how I said I'd edit this to include pictures? Well I left the damn pictures in PortalStar's dorm room because I'm an idiot.
I got attacked by a chicken, kind of. I was at a petting zoo at a hotel and a rooster got loose
I followed it, a security guard, and a desk guy followed it with me. We tried to corner it a couple times, but despite having a brain the size of a pencil eraser, it was adept at getting away. At one point we had it cornered under a desk. We had the little bastard. And so Mr. Chicken sees: A security guard, hardened by several brutal rate disputes, desperate for combat. A front desk jockey, fully misanthropic, praying for the death of customers or himself. ...and some jack ass in a polo shirt and khakis saying "Here rooster rooster rooster!" He charged me, the least threatening, from under the desk. He bonked me in the forehead on his way by, and try to slip around me in the confusion. I had my hands on him as he scuttled by, but I didn't want to break his widdle wings.
His cute, widdle chicken wings. So I let go, and he ran past me.
That's when it gets even weirder.
This little kid had been watching from a distance. In his hand he was carrying a small leaf, delicately pinched between two fingers. When the rooster made a break for it, he walks right up to it. Instead of running, the bird freezes in place. The kid walks up, taps the rooster with the leaf, and says "I gotchoo wooster! I gotchooo now!" At this point, said rooster just stands there for the guard to pick him up.
I have no idea why the 2 volt brain of the rooster decided that the tiny waddling kid was a safe thing, or why it decided to hang around after being tapped gently with a leaf. However, he was soon back behind bars.
I enjoyed the film "Bulletproof Monk", and though it's not the best movie I've ever seen, it's certainly not the worst. Something to note, the cut right before Chow Yung Fat says "Corn pops" implies a late decision regarding sponsorship.
This past Tuesday's swing dancing class is worth noting, as they taught us our first turn. Portal was somewhere between shocked and flabbergasted when she found out I had learned the turn. She really needs to work on her poker face, as she gave herself away when I asked "Did you not believe me when I told you I had learned it?".
This wonderful bit of acting is from Archive.org apparently. The clip is from a film about the dangers of kidnapping. I really felt the pang of loss when she casually slumps over the couch and shakes her butt at the policeman.
